FIFTY WISHES FOR A SOFT SUMMER MORNING:
I wish you fresh flowers.
I wish you hot showers.
I wish your heart had a backup.
I wish Starbucks held Happy Hours.
I wish my toaster made cheese.
I wish Prince Harry some peace.
I wish Meghan Markle some empathy.
I wish stethoscopes were warmer.
I wish Phoenix was colder.
I wish the Duchess of Sussex was the name of an old pool hall in Moline.
I wish the world had more Californias.
I wish nice guys finished first.
I wish my backyard had limes.
I wish milk was like friendship, better with time.
I wish wishes cost a mere dime.
I wish Sinatra one more song.
I wish Kobe one more shot.
I wish that when knees wore out, you could just grow another one.
I wish I’d taken more risks when I was younger.
I wish kids didn’t grow up so fast.
I wish pumpkins ate idiots.
I wish the birds loved the bees.
When I order martinis, I wish they came with a little dish of cashews.
I wish Mondays felt like Fridays.
Words I wish I’d never heard: Polyps, late fees, algorithms, Kardashians.
When I order fish, I wish I’d ordered the burger.
When I order a salad, I wish I’d ordered the ribs.
I wish all stadiums were first come, first serve.
I wish you a magic wand.
I wish I could grow you some magic beans.
I wish I could tell crypto from candy corn.
I wish my son had seen Jim Brown play. Or Bird. Or Bob Gibson.
I wish Al Michaels was back on Sunday nights.
I wish Mike Trout would win a ring.
I wish we’d treat old people as well as we treat movie stars.
I wish I could catch lightning in a bottle.
I wish I had the world on a string.
I wish love wasn’t blind.
I wish the second time was the charm.
I wish we could go home again.
I wish there were more drive-in movies.
I wish there were more Dog n Suds.
I wish laughter came in a roll-on.
I wish time healed all wounds.
I wish that, when life changes, we could too.
I wish broccoli tasted like Cheerios.
I wish wishes were prayers.
I wish hope grew on trees.
Till then, I wish you good health.
And if wishes were water, I would wish you the sea.
For past columns, or books, please go to ChrisErskineLA.com. Email the columnist at Letters@ChrisErskineLA.com
First published in the June 1 print issue of the Pasadena Outlook.